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a little bit of practice with amberkit- i feel like it’s a lot easier to write her than it was to write spottedpaw, which is pretty relieving. My writing is still inconsistent and rather shoddy, but i think that’ll smooth out with practice.
“Amberkit!” Pausing pre-leap, Amberkit’s head swerved around as she looked back at Poppyspot, her son asleep beside her. She frowned. Was something wrong?
“What is it?” She asked, turning away to continue her pursuit of the lizard that had wandered its way into the nursery. At this point, however, it had gone, so Amberkit abandoned her search in favor of padding towards Poppyspot and Fogkit. Her own mother, Tawnyfur, didn’t seem to be present; that meant that Amberkit would be getting a nice meal that night though, so she didn’t mind. Even nursing parents, she supposed, needed to stretch their legs every once in a while.
“I just wanted to tell you that Tawnyfur is out hunting. And don’t go too far chasing those lizards, alright? A coyote or a hawk might snatch you right up!” Nodding furiously, Amberkit sat next to Fogkit, their pelts brushing together. Her eyes already trailing after a bird flying high above the ground, she thought that he was warm. Sleep greeted her soon after.
Spottedpaw sounds really… tired to me. Like, he’s supposed to be energetic but my writing makes him sound really dead and it’s really frustrating. I also use hyphens too much, I need to cut down on those.
My biggest issue thus far is that Spottedpaw doesn’t sound nearly as energetic as he did when I used to write him. My writing sounds way too serious for his character, but I don’t know how to show that without dialogue.
But hey, either way, here’s the first things I’ve written for this fic!
Spottedpaw awoke after sunrise, when the first rays of light had been cast into the apprentice’s den. He stood up, shaking his hind legs as his grogginess faded. Blinking, he looked around. Bloodpaw and Thunderpaw, curled next to him, were still fast asleep. His whiskers twitched with envy, and it was with a small sigh that he left the abandoned coyote nest that served as their den. It was well into the morning, but it was cold. Flicking a fly away with a twitch of his ear, he wondered when the fog would dissipate. It was well into newleaf- at least, it was supposed to be- but it felt no different from leafbare.
Having arrived at the edge of camp, Spottedpaw sat down, his forelegs curling under his body. The fog was particularly thick today. Hunting would be difficult. The rabbits, despite their short brown coats, would be well hidden, and their scent would be as well. He sighed; today, he was going to lose.
“There you are! Up on time today, I see.”
Snapping out of his thoughts, Spottedpaw turned his head to see Silverclaw approaching him. Her eyes glittered with amusement, and her mouth was quirked up in a small smile. Silverclaw’s eyes reminded him of a clear sky, of catching birds and chasing lizards, and he beamed in reply.
“I’m hurt! You don’t have to wake me up that often.” It was a weak protest, but Silverclaw seemed to accept it regardless, simply letting the topic drop. Instead, she simply flicked her tail before moving ahead of him, a silent request for him to follow. Quickly rising to his feet, he obeyed.
“So, what’s your catch?” Spottedpelt’s tail drooped slightly in embarrassment as he made his way from the fresh kill cave to the apprentice’s den. Padding alongside him, Thunderpaw’s pelt brushed his sympathetically as they approached Bloodpaw, awaiting his response. She knew that the answer wasn’t going to be good. She had been out all morning with Dancingflame working on fighting techniques and thus hadn’t been able to participate in that day’s contest, something that Spottedpelt found himself grateful for. She had always been the best hunter of the three of them; his defeat wouldn’t be quite so humiliating this way.
“As good as lizards.” He grumbled, claws momentarily digging into the soft dirt below his paws as he sat beside his brother.
“That bad, huh?” Bloodpaw sounded disappointed; he always loved a good competition, comparing rabbits and birds side by side and heated arguments. Regardless of how much Bloodpaw had actually caught, Spottedpelt knew that his brother was unsatisfied with the lack of contest. Winning by a day fire just wasn’t the same. Bloodpaw nudged his maw, a lackluster attempt at conciliation, but Spottedpaw gratefully closed his eyes regardless.
another phrase I just came up with, though certainly not original: “winning by a day fire”. This is the pretty obvious parter of ‘winning by a landslide’, as landslides don’t occur here. However, I’m thinking that the clans might refer to the small fires that occur frequently during greenleaf as being ‘day fires’, and as such, winning by a day fire would mean that you or someone won a match with no competition (as the fire burns unhindered). This is a little different from a landslide because a day fire doesn’t imply the gap between scores so much as the lack of competition.
I wrote a little bit today! I haven’t written anything like this for a very long time, so my wording is probably still going to change, as is my tone. However, writing this has given me a couple more notes for my AU!
First- Thunderpaw, Spottedpaw, and Bloodpaw have a daily contest where they see who caught the most freshkill. Whoever wins gets to be in the middle when they sleep, because they all sleep next to one another. Thunderpaw isn’t related by blood to Spottedpaw and Bloodpaw, but they regard her as a sister and best friend.
Second- there’s an idiom in Mistclan that goes as follows: “As good as lizards”. This basically means that there wasn’t any prey out, or more broadly, that hunting didn’t go well. This is because lizards are the only other food source available when the rabbits and birds are gone, and since lizards have very little meat on them, they aren’t considered viable prey, they aren’t caught- thus, the implication that very little was caught, or that they might as well have caught lizards with all they ended up catching.
as of now I am strongly considering writing random scenes that will likely not appear in the main story. I’d really like to familiarize myself with the writing style that I’m going to need to adopt for Spottedpaw and Amberkit before actually delving into the main storyline.
i honestly have no clue how to start writing this thing. I think this is a pretty common problem- but still, it’s rather frustrating, since I’d like to start writing out possible beginnings asap. I’m still not sure what kind of plot my story is going to have, but to be honest, I don’t know if I really WANT to have it planned out beforehand. I’m not entirely sure yet if I even want a prophecy to be involved. Hmm.
I’m gonna start working a little on Spottedpaw’s mode of narration a little bit
One thing that makes multiple POV really appealing to me is that I could really start to develop a sense of varying styles, like how much imagery i use and if I use tangents or how punctuation works, or how long my clauses are, and seeing how these affect how my writing comes off. There’s two ways for me to do this- I could have Spottedpelt go through a severe change in personality throughout the course of the book and subsequently change my writing style subtly throughout the book, or alternatively, I could write from multiple points of view, and thus change my writing style to fit the character.
I’m leaning towards the first option, but I’m not sure what that would mean for Spottedpaw- what would cause him to go through this change. HOWEVER, I this could be done with a different character- I’m thinking Amberkit, but I’m not totally sure yet- I’m wondering if her eventual mentor might be emotionally abusive. Her mentor will either be Ebonyheart (whose name I am probably going to change), Cinderwing, or Ravenfoot. I think I’d be comfortable writing as Amberkit, since my old roleplays usually began with me writing as a kit and I roleplayed as Amberkit all the way through until our guild became inactive, a moon or two before she became a warrior.
I want to have part of it be based off of my home town though, since I know a lot more about the geography and wildlife there than I do anywhere else (it’s quite similar to windclan), which would also allow for hills and a tree-heavy region nearby. There will be an ocean nearby.
Mistclan would also be a totally applicable name for my clan if I DID actually base the geography of their territory off of my hometown, because it’s always foggy around there, and hey, mist and fog are basically the same thing.
The ground is fertile, and there are a lot of grasses and bushes, but there aren’t really any trees. Fires are commonplace during greenleaf, generally with one or two taking place a summer, but they usually don’t spread out far and the camp is usually not in danger. The land is full of rabbits, particularly in newleaf, and there are lizards out as well, though they aren’t large enough to be anything more than hunting practice for kits should a few wander into the camp. The place is practically crawling with hawks, so kits are watched carefully and hunting has to be done quickly, else their kill be stolen. There’s an ocean around ten miles out, so the weather is very mild and dry.
On the other side of the mountains lives another clan (i’ll call them creekclan, though that’s definitely changing). Rabbits are also common game there, but there’s more hunt-able birds there, because there’s also a lot more trees! Oak trees, to be more precise. There’s a little bit more variation in the weather- it rains a little bit more often, and there’s actually a small stream running through part of the territory, with moss and everything! Wow! Owls can be found here as well as in Mistclan’s territory.
A third clan (calling them oceanclan for simplicity now but again, this will be changed) lives, you guessed it, close to the ocean! Weather is very very foggy in the night and morning, but during the day, it’s super great. Heatstroke here is much more dangerous than dying of cold, as is dehydration- this is a feature true of the rest of the clans living around here. Seagulls are the main fare here, although occasionally a dead seal will crop up on shore and the whole clan has a feast. The ocean is not a place for hunting, and kits are under extreme guard, lest they be taken away by the strong ocean currents or even the seagulls.
As for the fourth clan… I have no idea. I’ll brainstorm a bit more over bubble tea and see if I can come up with anything. I know having four clans is standard, but having more would be too crowded and having less would mean that would be “friend clan” and the other “enemy clan”, and I’m hoping that having more clans would allow for a more dynamic interplay between the varying societies.
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